Talking about mental health and getting real for a second… have you ever had a day when that voice in your head won’t stop saying things like, “You’re such a failure,” or “You’ll never get it right”?
I have! And let me tell you, it’s the worst. That voice feels so convincing. It makes you think you’re stuck, that you’ll never be good enough, or that everyone else is doing better than you.
But here’s the truth: that voice in your head is lying to you. Oh, yes it is!
And today, we’re going to talk about why that happens, how it’s not your fault, and what you can do to silence that voice. So, grab a cup of your favourite beverage and let’s get on with it!
Why You Feel Like a Failure
First things first, let’s understand why we feel like a failure sometimes. It’s not because you actually are a failure, nope, not at all. It’s rather because of a few common reasons:
1. Unrealistic Expectations
Have you ever felt while scrolling through social media and thought, “Wow, everyone else is so successful and happy”? It might actually not be as true as it seems! Social media makes it look like everyone is living their best life 24/7.
But guess what? People don’t post their struggles online. Nobody does. You don’t see the messy parts, the failures, the bad days, the doubts. You’re comparing your full life, with all its ups and downs, to someone else’s highlight reel. That part of their life, which is probably the high point, nobody should compare it with their background work.
2. Perfectionism
Sometimes, we set goals so high that they’re almost impossible to reach. And when we don’t meet those goals, we feel like we’ve failed. But here’s the thing: nobody is perfect. Trying to be perfect all the time is like running a race that never ends. It is good to keep trying but not good to keep beating yourself up for not having attained perfectionism; it’s practically impossible and extremely stressful.
3. Fear of Judgment
Have you ever worried about what other people will think if you fail? This fear can make even small setbacks feel huge. But honestly, most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to judge yours. It is rather wise to overcome that fear and try and have faith in being who you are…
4. Self-Criticism
That harsh voice in your head? It comes from a mix of past experiences, fears, and doubts. Maybe you’ve been hard on yourself for a long time, or maybe someone once told you that you weren’t good enough, and it stuck.
Why That Voice Is Lying
Now that we know why you might feel this way, let’s talk about why that voice saying, “You’re a failure,” isn’t telling the truth.
1. Failure is Normal
Here’s a fact: everyone fails at something. Even the most successful people in the world have failed, probably more times than you think! Failure is a part of life that helps you learn and grow while doing so. It doesn’t define you; parts of it might teach you and help you evolve into a better version.
2. You’re More Than Your Mistakes
Think about it: Would you call your best friend a failure if they made a mistake? No way! You’d remind them of all the amazing things they’ve done. So why not do the same when it comes to you. You are so much more than one bad grade, one missed opportunity, or one wrong decision.
3. Progress Takes Time
Sometimes, we feel like a failure because we haven’t reached our goals yet. But life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Besides, slow and steady always wins the race! Just because you’re not where you want to be right now doesn’t mean you won’t get there. Progress takes time, effort, and patience.
4. Your Worth Isn’t Measured by Success
Here’s the truth: You’re worthy because you are a whole life, an individual, a living person who is alive to live each moment to its fullest and cherish it thoroughly. You don’t have to earn your worth by achieving things. Whether you win or lose, succeed or fail, you matter with or without any of that.
How to Quiet That Voice
Alright, now let’s talk about what you can do when that lying voice in your head starts shouting again.
1. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Whenever that critical voice says, “You’re a failure,” check with yourself:
- Is this really true?
- What proof do I have?
- How would I take care of a friend in this situation?
Often, you’ll realize that those negative thoughts are just assumptions, not facts.
2. Focus on What You’ve Done Right
Take a moment to think about your wins, no matter how small or less big they might be. Maybe you helped a friend, finished a project, or even just got out of bed on a tough day. Those things matter! Acknowledge the small wins and appreciate yourself; keep moving forward…
3. Set Realistic Goals
Instead of aiming for perfection, try setting goals that are challenging but achievable. Slowly step forward and further your goals. Celebrate your progress, even if it’s slow. Each step in the forward direction is in fact one step closer to your goals.
4. Talk to Someone You Trust
Sometimes, just talking about it can make a big difference… Share your thoughts with a friend, family member, or a licensed therapist. They can remind you that you’re not alone and that your feelings don’t define you.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. When you make a mistake, treat yourself like you would treat a friend, with understanding and encouragement. Just take a deep breath, allow yourself to accept the mistake, own it, correct it, and move forward without thinking too much about it.
Final Thoughts
That voice in your head doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t see your strength, your kindness, or your potential.
Next time that voice tries to bring you down, remind yourself: “I’m learning. I’m growing. And I’m more than enough.”
You’ve got this. And even if you stumble along the way, that’s okay; it’s part of the journey. Keep going, ‘cause if you stop now… you might never know if the best is yet to come. Who knows, it could just be there waiting for you to take the very next step ahead!