Let’s face it, the idea of setting boundaries seems fantastic. It all comes down to keeping your peace and appreciating your time. However, the drawback is that it can occasionally cost you friendships. It’s difficult, uncomfortable, and makes you wonder if it was really worth setting those boundaries. Let’s see why it’s acceptable to let some individuals go and why losing friends can actually be beneficial.
Boundaries Show Sincere Goals
You’re painting a line in the sand when you establish a boundary. It’s a guideline for how you want to be treated, not a wall to keep others out. However, some individuals won’t accept it, and the harsh reality is that those who oppose your boundaries were probably profiting from their absence.
It tells a lot if a friend vanishes or grows aloof because you say “no” to anything. Were they in your life because they appreciated your time, energy, or unwavering availability, or because they cared about you? Setting boundaries lets you know who appreciates you for who you are and who appreciates what you do for them.
Not Everyone Develops Alongside You
It’s acceptable for people to change. However, not everyone undergoes change at the same rate or in the same manner. Setting limits and learning to put yourself above pleasing others is part of personal development. Unfortunately, that version of you might not be acceptable to everyone of your friends.
Some people will not be able to cope when you quit being the “yes” man. They can say you’re selfish or that you’ve changed. The problem is that progress isn’t self-serving. It’s essential. If someone doesn’t value your development, it’s clarity rather than a loss.
Setting Limits Isn’t About Dominating Other People
To be clear, setting boundaries is not about dictating how others behave. It all comes down to expressing your requirements and determining what you can and cannot put up with.
For example:
You are always the one that drives your buddies around. At last, you set a limit, stating that you can no longer do something unless you are comfortable with it. That’s something a true friend will honor. The person who was abusing you will accuse you of being a bad friend or say you’ve changed.
That isn’t friendship; it’s manipulation. Furthermore, if someone leaves you because you no longer go out of your way to help them, they were never truly on your side.
Making Room for Healthier Relationships After Losing Friends
Every friendship that fades makes room for a new, healthier one. Removing toxic or one-sided relationships creates space for real connections, even though it might be difficult to perceive at the time, especially when the loss is painful.
Setting limits draws respect for both you and other individuals. These are the friends who will respect your time, acknowledge your need for distance, and celebrate your progress. Although it hurts, losing a buddy who couldn’t respect your limits is also freeing. You’re creating space for those who genuinely appreciate you.
Boundaries Instruct Others on How to Handle You
Boundaries are basically a set of guidelines for how you wish to be treated. People will continue to push past those rules if you never explain them.
When you don’t set limits, you’re essentially teaching others that it’s acceptable to ignore your needs. Setting them teaches others how you want to be treated, but more significantly, it demonstrates to yourself how you should be treated.
Your friends who understand your needs will treat you better than those who can’t handle your boundaries.
It’s Not Your Job to Please Everyone
Trying to please everyone wears you out. It will be difficult to establish boundaries at first if you’ve lived your entire life attempting to please everyone. The fact is, however, that it is not your responsibility to put the comfort of others ahead of your own health.
Setting boundaries is about protecting yourself, not about impressing other people. And that’s all right.
It’s Normal to Grieve a Loss
Losing a buddy is painful, even if it’s necessary. It’s acceptable to mourn. Feel the sadness, accept the loss, and allow yourself to grieve. However, don’t allow it to cause you to question the limits you established.
You didn’t do anything wrong just because a friendship ended. It indicates that you made your own decision, and you should be proud of it. Feel sad, but don’t regret it.
If you find yourself feeling lonely or isolated after setting boundaries, you’re not alone. Feeling disconnected, even in social settings, is common during transitions. To better understand this, read our article on the truth about feeling lonely in a room full of people, where we explore the complex emotions behind loneliness and how to cope with it.
Final Thoughts
Finding the right friends is really important. When someone leaves you because you decided to value yourself, it probably happened for the best. The people who depart when you establish boundaries were never there to stay.
It’s good to only keep friends who respect your boundaries. They are the ones who will support you because of who you are, not because of what you do for them. You’re creating space for something genuine and greater. And it is worth every penny.